I love data, or more accurately, I love the stories numbers tell. Consistently, within a percentage point or two, 73% of our initial inquiries for home care have been made by an adult child – primarily by daughters. There are of course many variables including geography, the number of siblings involved, family roles and functionality to name a few. Spouses made up 16% of the initial inquire, while 11% were made by the person requiring care.

Back to our overwhelming majority – adult daughters (a category that I fit squarely into) we find ourselves in uncharted waters where we have little experience to draw upon, and cannot predict the outcome. For many of us what follows next is an all-out quest for information, while performing a balancing act of our hearts, minds, and energies only a Flying Wallenda could aspire to. Let’s not forget that we’re pursuing this balancing act with dignity and respect for our parents, a basic tenant most of us were raised with.

Where our elderly parents are concerned, everything is okay until it is not. My wonderful, independent (until he is not) 82 year old father continues to amaze and perplex me. Moments of joy and moments of sheer panic, it is more than interesting. Fortunately, raising my three children gave me a heads-up about planning, preparation and control and how it doesn’t always work out. Dialog and planning can clarify our options but sometimes reality imposes unexpected perils and new decisions need to be made. Refer back to the all-out quest for information and the balancing act of our hearts, minds, and energies. Repeat as necessary.

The stories numbers tell and the stories we share give me solace. I am not alone.